Also Kung Fu Lunchbox
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Showing posts tagged life
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Happy Melon Farming New Year.
Sorry to be a bummer. Skip it if you’re not interested in someone whining about work. It’s a common tail often told.
I’m burning out at the place I’ve worked for 16.5 years for reasons that would take pages to list/explain.
If health insurance premiums didn’t cost well over $4,300 to carry solo and I didn’t have yet another $1200 (out of pocket) worth of dentistry slated in a couple weeks, I’d retire for a while. Gas prices zooming up by a whole freaking dollar up here are not helping when the tank must be filled every week for a daily commute alone.
I’m writing perfectly justified e-mails as drafts that I cannot send or that would prove only to create more tension.
I’m watching the people I’ve worked for and worked with, that positively shaped my workplace previously, being forced out. Former alleged allies in front offices seem to have reverted to mostly covering their own asses, truth, honesty and loyalty be damned. I’m losing benefits and more.
I need to find something that makes me happy. I used to be happy sometimes where I am but things changed. I need to do the fruity Joseph Campbell-adoring myth monger’s mantra of “follow your bliss”. I can’t logically suffer the continued destruction of my body by stress and the exacerbation of pre-existing conditions, physical and especially mental, no matter how much of a good fight I’ve put in.
I am held back a bit by not wanting to separate from my good friends at work but I must remind myself I wouldn’t be out of contact with them if I leave.
Have you taken a leap away from frustrating work and a distressing work environment? Have you followed your bliss? Have you ever taken a dose of Fukitol? Should I sit down and watch Office Space soon? (Yes, I’ve seen it several times already) Are you wearing enough pieces of flair in your current line of work?
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Contains Naughty Words
I apologize slightly for the off-color language.
Last week I checked my 401K. -sigh- Still not making major gains back since end of Bush era and recession, when over a couple years I lost more than the equivalent of a years salary from it.
A few minutes ago I checked my 401K. SONOFAFUCKINGBITCHASSMOTHERFUCKER!
I just lost more than the value of my car in a week, about 12% of what was in there. I know I’m not alone, of course.
But FSM DAMN!
This comes on the day when the dentist found four cavities that weren’t there 8 months ago. FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU…. I just got a $2K+ crown last year. This is all out my pocket. No real dental insurance.
Since I was forced to work in Canton last October and drive 45 mi./day, I’ve spent approx. $2K on gas already.
This is also the day on which I was assigned a family member for whom to play Santa for x-mas, a holiday which I don’t even celebrate.
This is also the day on which I was just asked to contribute to a semi-pricey birthday gift for an immediate family member.
Anyone want to ask for a kidney or something while everyone’s at it?
Can I take groceries back to the store for a refund?
Thanks, teabaggers for your contribution to all of this. I will steal from you first when I begin my necessary life of crime.
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Tumbling the Tree: Treat Yo Self
…because not only am I 40-almost-three with no powerful job or precious children, nor am I fashionable nor the ideal weight nor pursuing my passion, but honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m not capable of holding that kind of job or raising children. I’m overwhelmed sometimes by just the every dayness of things, the always having to get up and take a shower and brush my teeth…
Maybe it’s mental illness and maybe it’s just the differences between people and how they interact with their surroundings. The medication keeps me from laying in the street and allows me to utilize the tools I need to hang on to my tiny house and my government job. I do what I can do, and I try not to apologize for not doing more, because who said I was supposed to anyway? I do the best I can more often than not. And I am loved.
Hey, did I write this? It’s almost as if I did. Almost 40-almost-4 though here, slightly diff living sitch and a non-gov job and I didn’t watch Parenthood last night but so many other things that enter similar territory will gimme teh similar sads/point of reflection.
Life’s not what I thought it was going to be and as Tali indicated, most days it’s just an accomplishment to be out of bed, interacting minimally, taking meds, not being dead or harming oneself etc. Some basic things fall through the cracks some days of course. Making appts. and doing things that need doing is really tough for me and coping with being sensitive to so many things and situations is too. It’s embarrassing to say but I often need help just taking care of me. I’m grateful to immediate family for that assistance.
I try to constantly distract myself from thinking about the things I don’t have or may not be able to have in life but it’s impossible not to have it all pop up in my brain at some point every day due to someone’s innocuous tumblr/fb/twitter post about their lives or due to a TV program etc.
But that’s just another day. Time to sleep for a couple hours or something.
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Four since x-mas.
Dear (old) friends’ parents,
You can stop with the dying now, okay? Really making me nervous about my own parents of the same age (though they’re in good shape).
Thanks,
Kevbo
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Despite your feelings regarding Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, this little...
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PEEEEEEEEEEEGS!
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i'm so fucking confident with no hair.
i want to have nude portraits taken of me, sexual or...
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And so begins the 3-5 month stretch that I don’t wear clothes.
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